Santiago in NY Times – My Uncensored View

Warning: The following contains obscene language, random nudity and should not be read if you are generally an uptight person.

Santiago in New York Times – My uncensored view

Chile has been abuzz with the news on the weekend that Santiago was ranked number one place to visit this year by the New York Times. It subsequently appeared on the local TV, was a Top Tweet in twitter and even had blog posts written about it by numerous expats.

What do I think?

First, let’s get things in to perspective…

Masses of people aren’t going to come because of one article in a newspaper. (A personal yeah from me)

It’s not like people are going to sell their house and come this way in a couple of weeks after reading it.

When you see a story about the 41 top places to get ticks scratched off your scrotum, do you just dump everything and go to number one on the list? No! It’s an interesting read though you’ll still turn the page and get lost in the next article about the new whale burger restaurants or whatever.

And if the readers already have the money to come, it’s not likely they will change their mind and say: F*ck going to Paradise Island next month and doing adventurous once-in-a-lifetime shit there, I want to go to Santiago instead to check out the lovely hues of the smog at sunset!

The reality is that by the time most people have saved up enough money to travel, next year’s must visit list will have come around and they’ll blow their money on the new number one hotspot… or the latest iPull naval hair remover (in shiny black) that appears in the ad next to it.

But let’s imagine that people do end up coming to Santiago. What are the pros and cons of it?

Positives

- People will stop giving me a blank look when I tell them where I live. There will be no more… I live in Santiago (blank look), Santiago, Chile (continued blank look), you know, South America, (still vacant look) you know that huge landmass under the States (slight glimmer of association)

- It will create more awareness about Chile (People will now associate Chile as more than just a hot pepper that burns you twice, going in and coming out)

- People will start investing in Santiago. In what? God knows, as long as it’s not some tacky Guarén* World theme park (* Guarén, pronounced Wa-ren is a huge Chilean rat that would kick Mickey’s ass any day)

- People will come to Santiago and spend their cash which will in turn will help the economy with the extra taxes that go towards… ah no, forget it. It just lines the pockets of those who receive “reguleque” salaries in government.

Negatives

- We’ll probably get a whole bunch of assholes come this way and start complaining about how the locals don’t speak English.

- The noise level of the city will double with the sound of loud gringos that think that by speaking louder it will miraculously make the Chileans understand what they’re saying in English.

- I might take longer to get a drink at the pub with more people. Now that would piss me off.

Why was Santiago in the Number One Spot?
Was Santiago chosen because they felt sorry about the shit the country went through in 2010?
It’s not like Santiago is famous for spotting dolphins jumping in the crystalline Mapocho river.

And did they actually stay in Santiago or just search the net. And if so, were they here more than just the weekend when all the Santiago lunatics are out of town messing up Viña? (Come here in February when Santiago is empty and it will be number one place this side of Uranus)

True, there are loads of hip new restaurants, but isn’t that the same in most large cities?

My Verdict
Ok, it’s cool that Santiago was number one though it’s not going to make any difference to my life here. Now, where’s my drink.

Reality
People read the article and had already forgotten about it once they hit the sports section.
End of story

Tagged as: Chile, Humour, List, Opinions, Santiago