8 out of 10 Earthquakes prefer Chile
Last week we had a swarm of quakes in Chile.
They’ve mostly been little ones, around 5.3 to 6.1 on the Richter scale.
Just a tickle compared to other earthquakes we’ve had.
UNscientifically they’re saying the Mayans are just doing practice runs for the end of the world… testing, testing, one, two, three…
Scientifically these quakes can mean one of two things:
1. It’s releasing all of the built up seismic energy little by little OR
2. It’s just the warm-up for a big mother-f-ing quake that will shake the shit out of us.
I just hope it’s the latter (though people are comparing this swarm to what happened before the catastrophic quakes of 85 and 60 – the last one being the strongest in recorded history).
Oh well, time will tell.
The first thing I do after a quake
Whenever I feel a quake in Chile, one of the first things I do is go on twitter … mainly to laugh.
Yes, that is how used to them we are.
When it is only a light temblor (tremor) the twitter line is first filled with a stream of people writing “Tembló?” Did it just quake?
(yes, in Spanish there is a verb for it – probably like how in Russia they have 30 different verbs for drinking vodka).
However occasionally you get the master tweetster who writes about the quake at the same time it is happening.
Está temblando! (It’s shaking, quaking or whatever you want to call it)
But would happen if it started getting worse?
“It’s shaking” then
“Damn, stuff is falling from the shelves” then
“Shit, there are cracks up the wall” then the
“Oh Fuck, the ceiling is falling on me…” (yes, they find time to tweet about it ).
A few minutes later you read a “My legs are all mashed up under the rumble and my lung is hanging out my throat” (they quietly tweeted away).
Then there’s the “Noooo! Here comes the tsunami, gurgle, gurgle, I think I need to gurgle gurgle get off twitter gurgle gulp.”
A couple of hours later they’re back again saying it was an interestingly smallish quake and why is everyone being such a pussy about it.
It amazes my how people find time to tweet during emergencies.
Random Face about Me
Yes I have temblor as a favorite search keyword so that it comes up quickly and automatically, making it easier to catch up on all the gossip.
Why is Twitter better than Facebook after an Earthquake?
I prefer Twitter instead of Facebook because on FB you just get to hear the comments of your friends, however not all of them live where you are so they probably didn’t feel it anyway…. boring! And, they aren’t even connected that often (or it’s just that they’ve all blocked me for constantly sending invitations to my “I chew my toenails off and spit them at random people” App).
However, on Twitter you have the whole city (or region) letting you know exactly how their cat fell on the floor and broke.
And then the real fun begins…
We start getting everyone making jokes about the quake.
Tweets that appear after an earthquake in Chile (The stages)
1. Damn, I think the ground’s moving again (quick, grab the bottles of wine so they don’t break).
2. Did you feel that? (Yes I did OR No I didn’t my slave was scratching the fungus off my back at the time)
3. Confirmation comes through and everyone publishes how strong it was and where it was located
4. Bad jokes (this is the fun part that makes me laugh)
5. Repetition of the same bad jokes, especially about ONEMI*.
* ONEMI is, well, nobody really knows what they do. They’re SUPPOSED to give warnings and help out during civil emergencies like volcanic eruptions, massive earthquakes and Yeti rampages but the reality is something else. They don’t seem to do shit…. ever!)
ONEMI goes and says something like “the quake doesn’t have the conditions to cause a Tsunami”
Of course everyone starts saying “Run for the hills… run for your lives” etc.
Why? Because just after the 8.8 earthquake in February 2010 ONEMI said the same thing… unfortunately, and not at all funny, hundreds of people died from the Tsunami.
So, we’ve had a swarm of quakes these last days and we’ll most likely have some more.
Oh, it you want to follow me on twitter and learn first hand when a quake hits us, you’ll find me as @SouthAmericaME
And just so you know, I also have an alter ego that types even more stupidity but this time in Spanish: @ChileanCL
What do you do right after a quake?