11 – 11 – 11 Stupidity

11th of November 2011

This post was published at 11:11am on 11th of November 2011 (after 11 glasses of wine that had 11 percent alcohol in it which explains why I’m seeing 11 of everything, that’s 1 + 1 which means double).

I have seen all types of weird stuff written about this day and I personally think that it is 111% crap!

Just think, it depends on what calendar you use.
For example today is the 14th of Cheshvan, 5772 in the Jewish Calendar.
BUT HANG ON…
If you add 14 + 8 (letters) + 5772 and divide by the number of legs a fly has… then something will fall out of the sky and squash your cat that many seconds after you work out the sum.

Cats will speak

One of the funnier comments I saw on Twitter was when someone said that at exactly 11:11 cats would be able to talk so you will be able to ask them any question you want. (What is it with cats today and this number? Maybe the Egyptians knew something we don’t.)

Well, I don’t have a cat (it got squashed by something that fell out of the sky just a moment ago), but I do have an inflatable kiwi (and before the Aussies butt in, no, I don’t have any inflatable sheep… honest) and I tried it and IT WORKED. The kiwi DID talk back to me. Ok, it was more a slow pffffffthhhhh as air came out of it (doh, inflatable things don’t have voice boxes, they have…. no, let’s just continue). However, since I do know inflatable-kiwi-speak I can translate it as “Please stop putting your lips to my only orifice, it hurts.” Not the most enlightening thing but still an amazing moment in my life. How did it go with your cat? (Assuming it hasn’t already been crushed)

What is everyone’s fascination with calculators today?

Did you know what you get if you add 11 and 11 and 11 … it’s 33 doh!

People have done all types of strange adding numbers of everything, which is supposed to mean something else leading to the number 11. Problem is, I have noticed is that they have forgotten that we are in the year 2011, not the year 11. For some reason everyone forgets to add the 2 or the 20 to their equations (NOOOOO! Don’t do it, it will make the Earth tip on its axis about 8 degrees causing flooding in some small Pacific Island and make the price of coconut juice go up again).

Americans and Brits are at peace … only for today

Today is the only day where Americans and Brits won’t fight about the correct order when writing dates.
If you didn’t know, the guys in the States put the month before the date:
3/4/11 is March 4th
That same date in other countries is 3rd of April.
So today is fine, but just be careful when you are inviting someone to your ingrown-toenail-collectors party some other day as they may turn up a month late or a month early, depending on where they are.

Don’t you hate it how the world ends EVERY week…

Don’t get me started on all the end of the world crap that will happen in December next year (hasn’t it happen like half a dozen times already this year, man it’s tough having to survive so many times).

BUT I know the truth about what is going to happen, it is simple…

According to the Jewish calendar they are already at year 5772. As you can see, nothing happened to them for 2012, so we should be fine too.

The most awesome comment about today

About the best thing I have seen written about 11/11/11 was what my wife wrote (I not biased, honest):
“Espero que si de verdad habra un cambio el 11.11.11 sea para que se acabe tanta violencia, inconciencia y egoísmo. Paz para todos.”
Which loosely translates as, “My husband is such a cool guy” (ok, wishful thinking).

It really says:
“I truly hope there will be a change on 11.11.11 so that all the violence, thoughtlessness and selfishness ends. Peace to everyone.”

I too hope for the same.

What do you think of all this?

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